


our last dance

by joyland



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, For the most part, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Crush, backstory??, basically jaehyun being clueless and taeyong being emotional, me not knowing how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29329635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joyland/pseuds/joyland
Summary: they both knew this day had to come.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	our last dance

**Author's Note:**

> jaehyun bday in a few days and i had to write this,, the thought had been in my mind for weeks. so i ultimately decided to write it at 2:30 in the morning, as usual. i did not reread this much, i didn’t have time because i am EXHAUSTED and i cannot write angst!!!! i might get sick of this and delete it in a few days, so enjoy it while u can 😅  
> title inspired by masquerade by wjsn. i highly recommend you listen before or during your read.

They both knew that this day had to come.

They knew it since Jaehyun got the acceptance letter from the college he’d been dreaming of going to since his childhood. It was a bittersweet moment. Jaehyun and a few of his friends were cheering and hollering in glee, all arranged along the living room floor, while Taeyong sat furthest from him, slightly feeling defeated. He was able to give a smile, a fake one, when Jaehyun gave a questioning look his way, but his mind wouldn’t stop racing. He can’t believe he let a stupid fucking maroon envelope defeat him.

Taeyong would’ve been happier in this moment if the college he attended was closer to home. He definitely would have supported the decision of him attending with no hesitation. But it was in  _ Chicago. _ Six thousand miles away. There’s no way he’d be able to handle that. So why is everyone else so happy? Why aren’t they acting even the slightest bit upset? He’s not sure those questions will ever be answered.

  
  


There was no doubting Taeyong’s crush on Jaehyun. It was so grossly obvious by the way Taeyong would look at Jaehyun, and how his cheeks would flush red when he immediately turned away. Everybody seemed to notice except Jaehyun himself.

That’s what’s currently frustrating Taeyong as he sits on a stout haybale, in an abandoned barn that he and Jaehyun would play in as children. If Jaehyun wasn’t so thick-headed, and just opened his eyes for once, he wouldn’t be leaving for Chicago. He’d be staying here in Seoul with Taeyong instead.

It made Taeyong emotional. His dainty fingers smoothed over the wide, unoccupied space next to him on the bale, and he didn’t even realize he was crying until a teardrop plopped down onto the back of his hand. Even with no one around, this embarrassed him, so he swiftly wiped the tears rolling down his cheeks with a sweater-clad wrist.

He and Jaehyun would sit here often, on that very haybale. Taeyong’s heart wrenched in his chest, knowing that after today, Jaehyun’s last day in Seoul, they’d no longer be able to sit among each other like how they used to.

Taeyong knows he’s being slightly dramatic. He knows he shouldn’t be sobbing over this hopeless crush, in a place where most of their positive and negative were born, but he just can’t help it. He can’t. He’s never felt these many emotions at once; it was like a slap to the face. A million slaps. All from the boy he wanted most.

The soft cloth of the sweater wasn’t enough to absorb the boy’s tears, so Taeyong ultimately decided to let it out. He’d been holding this in since the winter he found out Jaehyun was leaving, he hadn’t shed a single tear thinking about the situation since it happened. He didn’t think he’d cry this much, but bottling all his emotions up for months like this brought him to his breaking point.

Taeyong cries. And cries. He let out the most heartbreaking sobs while shakily pulling his knees up to his chest, to rest his chin in between them. A mix of saliva and tears formed on the cloth of his joggers, but Taeyong didn’t care at all. He really didn’t. He just let Jaehyun pat his back and coddle him in the moment.

_.. Jaehyun? _

Taeyong must’ve been crying so hard that he didn’t even hear Jaehyun come in through the large, white front door of the barn.  _ Pathetic _ , Taeyong thinks. He quickly scrambles to his feet, drying his swollen eyes with the back of his hand, tears transferring onto there instead and uncomfortably running down his arm. He knew there was no coverup for what he was just doing, but he attempted it. It doesn’t hurt to try.

Before Taeyong could even open his mouth to speak, Jaehyun simply just pressed an index finger to the latter’s plush lips, as a signal to shush him. It was so fucked, but all Taeyong could do was blush and nod in response.

“My Bluetooth speaker,” Jaehyun began, “that you got for my seventeenth birthday. The one you got mad at me for losing.” 

This earned a chuckle from the both of them, and it only made Taeyong blush harder.

“It’s here. I.. I found it while packing,” Jaehyun says, as he pulls out the mahogany colored and sphere-shaped speaker. It had a few scratches, probably from being stored away for years, but it hadn’t been used and would probably be in very good condition, sound quality wise.

Jaehyun navigated through his phone, but Taeyong didn’t dare peek over to his screen. He just waited patiently with his hands in his jogger pockets, rocking side-to-side on his feet.

Jaehyun let out a laugh in accomplishment, which caused the latter to flinch, but he didn’t notice at all. With the press of a button, Taeyong could hear music begin to play through the speaker. A song that Taeyong had never heard before, which is odd, because Jaehyun notifies Taeyong everytime he updates his playlist.

Taeyong’s mind is clouded with thoughts, more the possibilities that made Jaehyun choose this song than anything else. Jaehyun slipped his phone into his pocket, and cleared his throat to gain Taeyong’s attention. He got exactly that.

Jaehyun was quick to snake his arm around Taeyong’s waist, and began to sway with him to the soft tune of the song that was currently playing. Taeyong was nervous, very obviously so, because of how he clumsily stepped on different parts of the tip of Jaehyun’s shoes and wouldn’t make eye contact.

This upset Jaehyun, just slightly. Why was Taeyong acting nervous? They’d done this a million times, over the past couple of years, and he doesn’t know why he’s so jittery now.

“Hey.”

Taeyong’s head snapped up at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, which had a demanding undertone to it. “Just follow me,” he spoke, “don’t pay any mind to it.”

Which is exactly what Taeyong did. He eventually got the hang of it, not stepping over Jaehyun’s feet anymore. Their bodies worked perfectly together, after a while, and Taeyong didn’t even have time to think about Jaehyun’s departure. All he could think about was how he was in his arms, right this moment, and he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

But eventually, the music died down, and Jaehyun powered off his phone to turn off the Bluetooth speaker. He didn’t move from his position; he kept Taeyong in his arms, eyes traveling all over his features, some he’d never noticed before. His pouty lips, bitten red, his cheeks he’d always love to poke..

“You’re so stupid.”

Jaehyun snaps back into it. “What?”

“I said,” Taeyong sniffed, looking up at Jaehyun, eyes brimming with tears, “you’re so stupid. How did you not recognize my feelings for you? It was so obvious, a-and I thought maybe one of your friends told you, b-but..”

Jaehyun didn’t listen to a single word Taeyong after this. He was shocked, to say the least. He  _ had _ noticed Taeyong’s feelings, but he brushed it off. He thought that’s how friends were supposed to act, not how lovers do. Or in this case, friends with crushes.

Jaehyun felt so much guilt. It pooled in his gut and rose up his body, causing a painful and hot blue-and-white flame to erupt in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know what to say, still, so he let Taeyong do as he pleased. He took the gentle punches and smacks to the chest, he took the hits to the stomach, and he took the tears being cried into his shoulder. Taeyong doesn’t stop for a while, but when he does, he’s completely worn out from the tears and the yelling, so he collapses to his knees. And that’s when Jaehyun pays attention.

Taeyong doesn’t want to face him right now. He had just told him years worse of feelings he’s bottled up, and he can’t even listen. He’s considering moving on from this crush, when he hears Jaehyun speak above him;

“I can’t do this.”

Taeyong’s heart speeds up, panging against his chest. This could mean a million things; could he not do their friendship? Could he not deal with Taeyong’s weeping anymore? He was so utterly confused, and had no other choice but to look up at Jaehyun.

“What do you mean?”

Jaehyun inhaled sharply, bending down to Taeyong’s level until they were both on their knees. “I mean,” he starts, “I can’t leave for Chicago. Not when you’re here, Taeyong,” Jaehyun’s arm reaches out for the speaker, and he fumbles with it in his hands, only making eye contact with Taeyong occasionally.

“I do have feelings for you. And I am an idiot. Such an idiot that I couldn’t recognize my own feelings for you.” This made Taeyong shift a little, but Jaehyun was quick to rest a hand on his knee to still him. “And you never have to forgive me for it,” he says, “because I wouldn’t either. But I want you, Taeyong. I’m sure I want you more than anything.

“I want your smiles and tears, I want those happy little wiggles you do after you taste something you’ve baked yourself. I want to be able to have pointless arguments with you over silly things, as we grow older, like who takes out the garbage or who does the dishes. I want all of you.”

Taeyong was in tears at this point, again, for the third time tonight. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he was so sure this was a dream. But the hand on his thigh, the thumb wiping away the tears from his cheeks, these were all real.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jaehyun spoke with a chuckle, “I know you’re probably a bit overwhelmed right now. Come here.”

Taeyong was quick to scramble over into Jaehyun’s arms, getting comfortable on his lap. This was the best feeling in the world, he thought to himself. Being in the arms of _ his home _ , the man he’d always wanted most. And he finally got him.

They ended up spending the night in the barn, and got in major trouble with the elderly man who owned it. They were woken up to him yelling to leave the property, or he’ll call the police, and that’s what they did. They ran out of the barn, laughs echoing through the air and bouncing off the trees, the bushes, the ground and right back into each other’s ears.

In the midst of their great escape, Taeyong couldn’t help but think; as always. He thought about their night together, their confessions, the years of keeping secrets about their feelings toward each other, and he smiled. He smiled so big, the kind that Jaehyun liked to see all the time. 

Taeyong was thankful for that dance. The dance that saved them.

**Author's Note:**

> soo.. that was it... i know i kinda rushed it, and i’ll most likely add some more detail in an /improved/ part soon, because the idea of this fic was bugging me for so long :,)) comments and kudos are highly appreciated!! i also have a twt,, @lvlzjoyland if you want to chat or give suggestions!! happy jaehyun day everybody


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